SO, clocks back, leaves fall, Hallowee’n beckons and time is passing at an alarming rate. 31st October will always be the anniversary of Ulster Television’s opening night in 1959. Phone calls will fly backwards and forwards this year and we’ll talk of the memories of that night, meeting Laurence Olivier (not yet a Sir) lumbering along the upstairs corridor to the party in the production office very happy that he launched the new ITV company in a sober manner! What fun. We were the young ones not yet worldly wise but learning. It has always been a date to celebrate and boy have we celebrated.
I remember how one Hallowee’n when I was about 12 I had my first glimpse of the goodness of God.
We were allowed to go round the neighbours with our hat and ask for nuts or sweets – or money, that’s what we were really after. Brothers and cousins we made a tight little band and we were doing well, most gave money and it jingled in our hat. Then we turned the corner into the darkness of the Park and the last house to be graced with our knock on the door. But panic. Three boys were coming towards us, the snatched the hat, took out the coins spilling some before running off. Outrage. We scrambled on the ground to retrieve what we could, it was all pennies anyway but they were precious in those days. There were only about four left plus one bigger coin – unidentified in the darkness. We got home to count our spoils and low and behold the unidentified coil was a half crown, shining silver and worth 30 pennies.
No one gave us such a treasure, I firmly believe to this day God had a hand in guiding us to that half crown, someone must have dropped it at some time amongst the leaves and we found it . We were rich and our faith was restored and redoubled!
Just had this appropriate text from one of my friends: He writes
“I discovered the answering the door naked helps deter trick or treaters. Oh, here we go again there’s two dress as policemen …..”
ROUND AND ROUND THE MULBURY BUSH
I can’t for the life of me see the skill in racing round a track in a car and calling it sport. Today, if all goes according to plan, Louis Hamilton looks set to become a record breaking Formula 1 driver taking over from Michael Schumacher to go down in the history books. Well, my skeptism was well and truly trounced when talking to my eldest grandson (22) yesterday. What a brilliant conversation which ranged from film making to computer language and ended up in the cockpit of a Formula 1 motor car – virtually! Apparently there’s bravery to be taken into consideration, cornering at 150 miles an hour plus plus, more than anything the mechanics of the car which were explained to me and sound amazing so I stand corrected, it would appear the huge amount of money swirling round this sport is well spent and well deserved. Although not quite convinced!
I grew up listening to rugby matches with commentator Uncle Sammy Walker – he was a friend of my Dad. He was brilliant and there was no doubt his love for the game and his championing of Ireland in their rugby union games. Listening to his slightly biased and always boisterous commentary on the old wireless in the dining room in front of a crackling fire was a feeling of security and being in the middle of a loving family. I was reminded of Uncle Sammy the first time I heard Jim Neely covering rugby from Lansdown Road, the same joy and enthusiasm and I immediately became a fan. Now he has been rewarded for his work with an MBE in the recent honours. I congratulate him.
Another to receive this reward is Mr. Cherry, Geoffrey Thomas Cherry MBE principal of Pond Park Primary School in Lisburn. He’s a remarkable man. I first came across him when he appeared in the Arts Theatre Christmas show in 1982. He was one of the primary school children who joined the cast on stage and sang their hearts out. There were appearances with the Lisnagarvy Operatic Society where I was a chorus girl! A few years ago through grandsons we met up again and I heard the inside story from children on just how brilliant he is. Then last week I came on the Pond Park web site and there were the school’s Christmas videos and they are so happy and uplifting. Teachers are going through difficult times, never an easy job and such responsibility hats off to them all and may their lives get back to some normality as soon as possible.
DADDY’S GIRL
We hear about single mothers a lot these days, the difficulties of bringing up children without the support of a partner. We don’t hear so much about single dads and their stories, dads like Jack.
Jack (not his real name) has never married. He met this daughter’s mum on a gap year in New Zealand when a group of UK and Irish students were at a party and a love affair began. He came from Belfast she came from Donegal and their relationship continued when they came home. The result was a beautiful baby girl but there was tension in the relationship, Jack was commuting between Belfast and Donegal and it became too much, he was tired and the strain effected them both so when their child was just over two years old, they decided to separate. The child’s mother wanted to work again and after much discussion Jack agreed to bring the girl to live with him, to grow up with her dad back in Belfast.
“Our breakup was traumatic, there were many tears, there was a lot to consider. I’d been paying for everything which was fine but I was loosing out on being a good father so when she decided to go back to work there was no option but to bring my wee girl home with me. It has worked out well but there are drawbacks. Social services were a nightmare so much time wasting, people still give me the feeling they felt I shouldn’t be bring up a little girl on my own. I’m thankful to my parents and my sister who are helpful so I was able to keep working. But I was getting overwhelmed and depressed. I’ve tried all the things recommended, mother and toddlers clubs for instance. Now that was difficult. I was the only man and some of the women resented me being there others were delighted and quite honestly I felt the pressure of being chatted up, still do. I’m 28 and most of the women were around the same age and older and even when I go to playgrounds and you’re watching your little one on the swing another mother will put their child on the next swing so you’re stuck beside each other and it’s awkward, after fifteen minutes you run out of conversation as you’ve nothing in common, I don’t talk fashion or shopping and they don’t do football! When we go out for a walk I take the back roads so I don’t meet anyone. It can be a lonely life and now with the new lock-down it’s going to be even more difficult.”
Jack recalls trying to persuade one of his friends to bring his son along to a mother and toddler group so the children could bond and he’d have some male company.
NO GO AREA
“He came with me but after 20 minutes he asked me to mind the child as he went outside for a smoke. Half an hour later he hadn’t come back. My mobile rang it was him asking me to bring his boy out to him as he was going home, apparently the whole thing was stressing him out.”
Jack is a very switched on parent. His six year old is much loved, still in touch with her mother and has caring grandparents. Diet is a big subject in our discussion and one of Jack’s bug bears is in the supermarket when sweets are placed beside the till. “Weight is a problem in children these days and sweets are just an introduction to an addiction to sugar. The kids are on a high and are on the road to diabetes so I watch her diet very closely and I remind the family no treats. Luckily I quite like cooking and she and I make mealtimes special.
“I wouldn’t change anything. We’re happy together and I don’t think she’s loosing out on anything.” His smile reflects his love. “I’ve plenty of friends so she get’s a good social life and she loves primary school. The teachers are pleased with her progress and her ability to socialise so I’m happy. I don’t want to meet anyone but I don’t know what to expect in the future except I know we’ll manage – with a little help from our friends.”
‘Undoubtedly this is a most frightening and dreadful time – full of dread for family and friends and for ourselves. I woke up with a blinding headache after a night of weird dreams and my first thought was – have I got the virus. I bet at some time during the last week you’ve wondered yourself. I wish that, when the news is given about the number of people being hospitalised because of coronavirus they would also give the figure of people discharged. As it is you just visualise more and more patients crammed into wards but no one coming out the other end to continue recovering at home.
Life get’s very humdrum and it’s a beautiful thing to have a grandchild, grandsons in my case, who phone to say hello how are you. First was the lesson in Formula 1 then No 2. (16) phoned last night and we talked about all sorts of things including the value of learning how to measure rivers. That lead on to control of flood water, the power of water to heat and light and when No 3 (12) came on the line it was all about writing short stories and an offer to drawing a plan for a new layout for part of the garden.
Phoning is important and a wonderful way to keep in touch, even better if you can see the person on whatsApp or the like.
Bill is a dear friend who phones quite regularly and just announces he’s bored and fed up and wants to tell me a joke assuming I’m bored and fed up too. We talk for half an hour and then he’s gone till the next time. He told me he checked his phone bill last week and thought it was very dear so he researched and discovered he’d made 348 phone calls in the previous three months! I reckon that was money well spent – and so did he.
My good wishes are with you and yours. Keep safe and well, don’t take chances. It’s so easy to forget about social distancing, washing hands and carrying a mask to wear but it’s not a lot if it keeps us protected.
Here’s to next week.