SUNDAY BLOG: IT’S A SAD BAD WORLD

Andy Murray

murray

What a devastating time he has had and no wonder the man broke down at his press conference.  I remember the time my son at a young and tender age came into the house and his lip was bleeding.  I asked what had happened and it transpired he had bitten it.  Why?  His granny had told him to bite his lip because big boys don’t cry;  so when he hurt himself he bit his lip really hard.  Thank goodness that old fashioned attitude has given way to more tolerance and understanding and when Murray felt the tears well up he did the right thing, left the room for a few moments to compose himself before returning and apologised for keeping everyone waiting.  It didn’t get any easier to watch his torment but I hope that the outpouring of love and sympathy will go a long way to comforting him.  Giving up the one thing you’ve worked for all your life, all the hours of training and practice, being dedicated to the cause and then because of an injury rather than making your own decision to quit you are forced to  leave it all behind you.

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However, his facebook message last night showed a more positive young man.  “Best way to feel better after a tough day is a big cuddle from your mum Genuinely been very touched by all of the messages and support from everybody today… It means a lot and has made me feel much more positive than when I woke this morning?Thank you so much. ❤️”

Listening to his surgeon this morning, it doesn’t sound as if he’ll make it to Wimbledon but hopefully he’ll be there to greet his well-wishers and fans and by then have some plan for the future.  What a great example he is to young and old and to some of his fellow tennis players.  He is a force for good and perhaps the new prospects in life will mean even more to him than a silver cup.

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Grown Men Attack Woman In London

 

Anna Subery
Anna Subery

There is a hatred running through society at the moment, especially in London.  Stabbings, drugs, vicious verbal abuse of women politicians, even in the hallowed halls of parliament there is language and sentiment alien to a place that should have the highest standards of speech, behaviour and understanding.  Some chance!  Just look at the television ‘listings’ for this week – Les Mis a classic but violent, Silent Witness, Luther last week and some terrible films glorifying war and gang warfare and abuse.  Is it any wonder standards of respect and modesty have fallen to, I think, an all time low.  And I haven’t even ventured into the world of virtual reality.

 

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And then there’s Trump – it’s fascinating but so frightening.  The man is unstable, he can’t remember what he has said, he contradicts himself, he lies – he’s a disaster.  How long is it going to take before someone takes on the responsibility of getting a grip on America and restoring it to greatness.

 

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One Man’s Experience

“I still wonder why I was constantly picked on, the only person who stuck up for me was my dad.  We went to football matches together and I know he cared about me but I don’t think he realised what I was going.”

For Sam (not his real name) life has never been happy, although he’s now over 50 he still suffers the emotional scars which have been inflected on him since childhood, this was another miserable Christmas without any family comforts. 

He told me how his brother, let’s call him Tom, began to sexually abuse him when he was still at primary school.  “I thought it was just something brothers did but the mental torture was when he threatened me with physical hurt if I told anyone so I was scared, he said I’d go to jail because he’d say I’d encouraged it and I believed him.  He was mum’s pride and joy, she idolised him, he could do nothing wrong and she went on and on that there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t get good exam marks or make the school football team like he did, I was a bitter disappointment as a son, she said, where had I come from, I didn’t fit in with the rest of the family.   She said it so often that I began to wonder myself.  I had this fantasy  that I was the child of a rich and famous woman but the babies got mixed up at birth.   It didn’t really work.”  

He became withdrawn both at school and at home, became solitary and buried himself in games and videos, not always suitable for a young boy.

It was brave of Sam to confide in this way but he feels it’s important other men know his story.

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The emotional bullying continued. 

His self-esteem sank to an all time low.  He lost weight, became sullen and he says, just didn’t want to interact with anyone including his family.   In teenage years the coercion became even more serious.  He discovered his elder brother, who was married by this time, was having an affair and the threats became unbearable.  

“He began to blacken my name until no one liked me, even my dad’s attitude changed just when I need him most, I was between boy and a man, I’d no one to talk to and no guidance.  The only good thing was a special friend I made when I started  secondary  school, we hung out together but then my brother told my mother I was gay and having a relationship with another boy.  She was horrified and she really took it out on me.  She never hit me, at least there would have been something to show if she had, she was verbally cruel and what could I do, it was her word against mine so I didn’t say anything.  I considered suicide and almost did but something always stopped me.”

When he was 23 Sam got a job in a pizza place and began earning regular money for the first time.  He made friends, began to socialise and eventually met a girl.

“She was very pretty and we got on well.  We married and had two children, a boy and a girl and for the first time I was happy.”  

Sadly it didn’t last 

It all changed thanks to his brother who couldn’t accept Sam’s new life, he’d lost his dominance over the boy and that was a challenge.  Tom’s insidious way of gaining control again was to start chatting up his brother’s wife.  He slipped her expensive gifts, made her feel special and as intended, the inevitable happened, they began an affair.  

“He obviously wanted me to know, left clues around and it wasn’t long before a neighbour told me how his car would appear at the house half an hour after I left for work, I confronted her and she admitted the affair.  We tried to get back on track but dear mother had her own ideas.  She took my wife aside and told her I was gay which wasn’t true but I couldn’t prove it.  When someone begins spreading rumours people think there must be some truth in it and mud sticks.”

Today Sam is facing the new year on his own.  His wife left him and took his children with her.  She is still in the relationship with Tom and if his own wife suspects anything she  hasn’t said. Sam believes he’s controlling her too.

“Even now I feel scared of him wondering what’s next.   I waken up during the night with panic attacks, it’s like a nightmare that I can’t get out of.  I can’t sustain friendships because I feel I’m not capable of loving or being loved.  I constantly wonder what I’ve done wrong.  I’m not looking for sympathy but yes, I have black thoughts, my future is bleak.  Maybe I’ll take advice and get help but at the moment that’s a step too far, I just want to be left alone.  I’m sorry Anne, I know I’m a sad person but that’s my life.”

I was shaken by this story, I’ve written about women but I hadn’t stopped to realise men are also vulnerable to these cruel mind games that stop just short of violence.  Coercion is now a crime carrying a maximum of five years in prison, a fine or both. yet people suffer in silence rather than get into a legal wrangle and expose themselves to their friends.  

However, there is hope.  LIFELINE 0808 808 8000 is a freephone number in Northern Ireland where qualified councillors are at the end of the phone 24/7.  You can put yourself in their hands for immediate support in a crisis and they also offer ongoing support.  LIFELINE is also available to family and friends for advice.  It takes courage to pick up the phone and ask for help but I can assure you it will not be awkward nor a waste of time.

kindness like snow

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