SUNDAY BLOG: HELLO, IS IT ME YOU’RE TALKING TO?

Looking for a Christmas present which will give interest and pleasure? Anthony McGeehan has written many terrific bird books but this one is a favourite of mine. I think we take birdlife for granted to some extent but if you just take time to sit and wait it’s surprising what you’ll see in your own garden. I was thinking this when I heard this morning about the village in England where thousands have gathered to look at a little bird no heavier than a strawberry, no wonder the poor little thing was blown off course by all the strong winds and hurricanes around South America where it was heading probably from Canada. The scarlet tanager which has arrived in Shelf, West Yorkshire has drawn twitchers from miles around all hoping to spot the yellow chested visitor.

It reminded me of my own twitching experience, I’m sure thirty years ago, when a knowledgeable friend phoned and told me he’d collect me in ten minutes. He’d had rumours of a rare sighting and It transpired we were dashing to Dargan Road and a little overgrown path close to the docks in the unlikely hope of catching a look. The next hour was spent crawling on our tummies along the path to a vantage point and waiting. No chat, no movement, just waiting. Not for long, there before our eyes was a white-throated robin which breeds in south-west Asia and migrates to eastern Africa for the winter. This extremely rare visitor to Britain hopped out of the undergrowth and we were rigid with delight. Fred has brought food of some kind and had managed to scatter it before we took up position and the little creature loved it; not only that, to our surprise, a local robin joined in and there were the two of us lying in waste ground early on a Sunday morning as the local bird chatted to it’s visiting cousin. It was very special.

Easier to see is our pet robin who has been visiting for years, is it the same bird or a third generation?

PHONE A FRIEND

Ray Wilson with Victoria O’Neill Co-ordinator of Volunteer Now

It was a beautiful calm morning in north Belfast when I called with Ray Wilson at the neat little house where she has lived for 50 years,  She’d just finished gardening, trimming the bushes and deadheading where necessary. Her neighbours keep a watch to make sure she is safe and well because Ray Wilson is 90 years of age and full of life but wise, she carries her phone with her just in case she has a fall.  It has happened and help was immediately at hand, between friends and family she is loved and minded.

Ray was born in her granny’s house in Glencollyer Street off Limestone Road in north Belfast, all the children were born at home as the entire family lived within a few doors of each other, Granny ruled the roost and up to 20 brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles would gather in her parlour for Sunday lunch, soup and singing, only hymns as it was a holy day.  So many stories and her lovely laugh rings out as she recalls a near disaster, her brothers were running in and out trying to get to the Halloween fireworks when her father got really cross.  “He just took all the fireworks up and threw them into the fire.  He realised his mistake too late, there were Catherine wheels and jumping Jennies flying all round the room,”  

She left Mountcollyer School at 14 to work in Gallahers Tobacco Factory.  You can just imagine how vibrant this woman was as a girl, no wonder she was in the Gallaher entertainment group that went round the halls of Northern Ireland, twelve singers and two tap dancers.

Still only a teenager she won a singing competition in the Hippodrome and was invited to sing in the Opera House.  Ivy Benson, the famous bandleader was looking for a singer for her all-girls swing band that toured the variety theatres in the UK, topped the bill at the London Palladium and was BBC’s resident house band.  It was a big chance for the young woman.  “But my father said no, it’s not right at your age, you can do so much more.  I respected my parents and I had a happy life so I accepted what he said and as he added, I might have won that would have been awful!” 

Falling In Love

She talks of the young men who gathered in the evening on the corner of her street, especially Theo, he was popular, a sheet metal worker at Shorts who played football for Brantwood and she was pleased when there was a whisper that he fancied her, the feeling was mutual and soon he became her husband.   “We danced at the Orpheus and the Plaza but when we felt like being posh we’d go to the Floral Hall. They were innocent days, we’d all link arms and walk home singing. ”  

She was only 34 when Theo died and suddenly she was a single parent bringing up three children. 

When she retired Ray had time on her hands and reckoned she could either sit in the corner and feel sorry for herself or get involved in some organisation.  She chose Volunteer Now and for the last 25 years she has befriended people, at one time with face to face meetings over a cup of tea but since the pandemic the telephone has been the means of talking and sharing news.  “We just take up the conversation week after week or day after day just as if I’ve come to the door to discuss local news as well as what’s going on in the rest of the world.”

Befriending Scheme

That morning I also met her friend Victoria O’Neill Co-ordinator of the befriending scheme Volunteer Now.  As we chatted Victoria explained how important it is to have volunteers like Ray to help other people who are less fortunate, most often women over 65 years of age, housebound and lonely.

Ray has one friend at the moment and she obviously loves her and values her company.   It’s not always so, in the past she has had challenges, one woman who had no friends basically because she was difficult to like but with her ready smile and obvious compassion Ray made a break through and became the only person she would allow into her house, it was Ray who held her hand as she was dying.  This delightful woman  does not judge anyone:  “There but for the grace of God go I.  I’m blessed with children and grandchildren and great grandchildren and many friends.”  What’s her advice for a happy and contented life?  “Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself.“ 

Volunteer Now organisation is looking for people to join their befriending team.  More at Volunteer Now website or phone 028 9023 2020

Two very different funerals this week, one a most beautiful service in Ballymena where our friend Eamon was remembered with affection and dignity. The music, the words, the tears and the love I hope was soothing for the family, certainly it was a privilege to be part of such a special send off. Mourners followed the coffin out of the church grounds and along the road to see him to his rest. While it was sad it was also an afternoon of promise as we all gathered in a religious service filled with hope.

The other service beamed in from Australia as Candy Devine was remembered by her family and friends. It was very different, obviously extremely hot, no dark suits or warm coats here rather open necked shirts and summer dresses and a very relaxed atmosphere. Her niece sang, her two sons gave tributes and at the end the hearse drove off followed only by the priest and the two boys and then it passed through the gates and off into the busy traffic of Brisbane. There was one thing in common between Ballymena and Brisbane, the love shown to the modest gentleman and to the vibrant woman who had passed on.