Mothering Sunday. Not the American version of Mother’s Day, a celebration of motherhood which developed into a commercial venture but the forth Sunday of Lent in UK which was the day when domestic servants were given a day off to visit their mother church, usually with their own mothers and other family members. Still special today to show some love to that woman who brought you into the world.
Some lament that todays jargon where the language has changed and I’m one of them, how can a mother be anything else but a mother. Gender inclusive language means husbands and wives are now parent and partner. A mother is a birthing person and a dad the non-birthing parent! And poor new mother will be offering her baby chest milk through chest feeding. And so it goes on and on and on. I had a mother and she breast fed me. My dad was my dad and they were superb parents. Let’s not waste time on this subject, it’s not compulsory and some of it is justified.
My mum was a frustrated actresses who loved social responsibility. Today she might well be involved in politics, or she might be a a well known novelist or she might be on the West End stage. She was the most interesting woman who loved words and reading, when I was little the wireless was always on and we sang along with all the great songs of the day. Wasn’t I fortunate to have such a role model. We love our mums and, unless you are less fortunate, they are great teachers as their daughters enter the world of womanhood – just to be accurate great teachers of their sons too. Of course we crossed swords many times, I laugh when I remember how she found I’d been reading the Ginger Man by JP Dunleavy, a racy and entertaining novel based on his bohemian student days in Dublin, banned both in Ireland and the United States by reason of obscenity. Mum came into my bedroom brandishing the book and scolding me for reading ‘such filth’. How did she know – I asked her did she read it? That really annoyed her and she threw the book across the room and onto the bed saying how ashamed she was of me and my taste in literature! I was 24! I learned not to criticise my daughter if ever I doubted her reading material!
Incidentally, I read that in the Scottish Parliament building they no longer sell gingerbread men in their canteen, only gingerbread persons.
Sending love to Candy Devine in Brisbane who isn’t feeling to well at the moment. Look forward to talking soon Candy.
What a weekend and St. Patrick did his thing. An afternoon of nail biting excitement yesterday with Ireland overcoming England to win the Grand Slam, oh to be in Dublin last night and today. And congratulations to INST who won the school’s rugby cup on Friday. I had a grandparents interest in the game and was delighted with the result.
When it comes to international rugby what excellent examples these big men are to younger players. Compare the game with football where men tend to end up on the ground clutching some part of their poor wee bodies and shading tears at the end of the game and gathering round the referee giving him – sometimes these days her – a lot of lip. With rugby only the captains converse with the ref and discipline is maintained. And the camaraderie at the end, man hugs with the opposition and clapping the losers off the pitch. And a united crowd happy to sing their own songs and boy what a result all this effort had yesterday, The Grand Slam and Johnny Sexton bowing out with such a record and genuine appreciation from his team mates and the crowd. I was crying with joy.
A Woman’s Lot
It’s a long time since my mother sent me to the haberdashery shop on the Cavehill Road with a note. The elderly lady went to a back room and came back with something wrapped up in brown paper and tied with string. Mystery parcel, no explanation. Eventually I realised I was a messenger bringing home sanitary towels. How things have changed, this is no longer a secret not to be spoken aloud, older women are still modest but thankfully young women are prepared to face the problems surrounding periods and challenge embarrassment about a very natural bodily function, all part of growing up.
No matter where in the world you are reading this you will probably be quite aware of women’s issues especially when it comes to menstruation and the menopause. Both are current talking points.
Recently equalities minister Kimi Badenoch rejected calls to make it illegal to discriminate against women going through the menopause. She argued that women could use existing provisions in the Equalities Act 2010 to bring any discrimination cases.
“The menopause can be dealt with alongside three existing ones – age, sex, and disability – because it is a health condition and many disabilities are health conditions. We have the laws in place.”
She was asked whether menopause could be classed as a disability in discrimination cases.
A Disability Or Not A Disability?
“The menopause is not a disability, however a particular woman’s experience of the menopause which can be a health condition, can be so extreme as to qualify for a disability.”
Ms Badenoch also rejected the idea of a pilot for menopause leave, saying it was not the job of government to do something that employers could do anyway.
Could this debate result in employers rejecting mature women for jobs in case they end up having to agree to protracted time off?
It’s a hot topic at the moment. In November the Irish government will hold a vote in on removing “outmoded” references to a woman’s place being in the home from the country’s constitution.
Nearer home Liz Wenden-Kerr, is a practice nurse working in Belfast who was involved in setting up the first menopause cafe in Belfast.
‘I’ve petitioned parliament to fund menopause awareness training for practice nurses. Although menopause has gained a lot of momentum, there is still not enough support for women in primary care. I need 100,000 signatures for this to be debated in parliament, so I would be really grateful if you could support the petition and help me promote it in any way.”
Although a natural event in a woman’s life, many struggle during menopause. 75% experience symptoms which can last up to 7 years. They can be severe and impact relationships, work and wellbeing. Symptoms are often attributed to other causes and remain untreated.
Deadline 2nd September 2023, so no matter where you are in the world you can sign the petition if you wish. The link is:
Fund menopause awareness training for Practice Nurses – Petitions (parliament.uk)
Campaign For Dignity
At the other end of the age range young women are now voicing their concern at the lack of attention being paid to menstruation and ‘period dignity’. I remember writing about the Red Box Project some years ago, a national network of volunteers who work together to provide free sanitary wear and spare underwear in schools and being shocked at the hundreds of young women who were losing regular schooling because they had no protection and were forced to stay at home.
At the International Woman’s Day gathering at Writer’s Square in Belfast two Saturday’s ago, The Homeless Period Belfast were prominent amongst the organisations gathered there and this was the very point they were addressing. Founders Katie Bryce and Katrina McDonnell with Maedbh Donaghy and friends were drawing attention with their bright and bold banner and planning for last Saturday’s rally and march from the City Hall. Theirs is a very straight forward campaign – provide sanity products free of charge in all public toilets just as happens in Scotland. As they say, a period is a bodily function over which there is little or no control, 98% of those surveyed said they have been caught out away from home, others simply can’t afford these products sometimes called ‘luxury items’ at luxury prices. According to the women some girls are using newspaper stuffed into socks or making pads from toilet paper, those who are struggling financially will use anything or nothing – or resort to stealing. Far from a dignified experience.
Katie pointed out progress so far which includes talks at government level when Stormont was up and running. These talks were positive and they look forward to resuming them when the time comes. But the work goes on
“Since 2016, we’ve been providing period packs to people in need, normalising the conversation on periods and campaigning for free period products in all toilets. Our period packs reach rough sleepers, women’s refuges, disadvantaged young people, homeless hostels, food banks, refugees & asylum seekers, survivors of human trafficking, individuals and families of low income.”
So the message is straightforward: Free period products sitting alongside toilet paper, soap and hand towels – tampons or pads in every toilet be it in a cafe, school, hotel, local or council offices. However, there is another aspect to be considered as Katrina explained. “There are women who have periods that actually force them to take time off work so they are having to use up their sick days. Because of the stigma they don’t feel comfortable explaining why they need time off. We’re here to support them,”
You can discover more on the website: The Homeless Period Belfast.
This years theme not only for last weeks Internation Women’s Day but for all time is Embrace Equality – Stand Up Fight Back – against increasing sexual harassment especially on line, 58% of young women have experienced this, and misogyny – dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women, more common than you might think.
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