WHEN LIFE GETS YOU DOWN
Sometimes you just have to switch off and think of something funny. For instance I wither at the thought of the day I was going to interview a painter I admired and a big name in the world of art. I duly painted my face and was quite pleased with the results except for one thing – I had three spots that needed camouflaging. Out with the white concealer which I dabbed on well and truly before applying more Golden Glow foundation. Phone rings, dash off to deal with the call, getting late for my appointment, grab my notebook and pen and I’m away. Very nice chat, he was very charming and had a winning smile the whole time we talked. Got home pleased with the morning’s work, glanced in the mirror only to see this golden glow face looking like a clown with big white spots on each cheek and one on my chin. I can laugh now but I was horrified at the time. Then there was the time the Opera House had a grand opening of something, all the great and the good were there and so was I. I was acting a bit ‘lovvey’ waving across heads, calling greetings, completely carried away with myself mingling like a right diva! When two girls came up to me I reached for my pen to sign their autograph books but that’s not what they wanted. Instead one whispered, “Do you mean to have three big blue rollers in your hair?” This diva disintegrated into a heap and ran for the ladies loo. Embarrassed or what.
Funniest of all was way back in the 60s. My friend had a pale blue Vespa scooter and was the envy of us all. During a lunch break she invited ‘hop on the back an we’ll go through town and show off.’ OK. Pencil skirts were in fashion so we both hoisted them up almost to our waists and set off. Down Donegall Place, stopped at the lights at Anderson and McAuley’s (was next door to Primark in those days) and we were on a high, everyone was looking at us, or more accurately the Vespa the Italian for wasp, and I relaxed with my feet on the ground and took time to look at ourselves in the big windows of the store. Then my friend revved up, shot off and left me crouched in the middle of the road, legs akimbo and skirt up to my waist. The image was not the best but I got a round of applause.
I was not as elegant as Audrey Hepburn on the scooter of reporter Gregory Peck in the film Roman Holiday. Cinema goers were enchanted by her and everyone wanted a Vespa and it became the darling of many film stars after that. Publicity was high and 100,00 little wasps were sold immediately after the film was released, by the late 80s that figure had jumped to 10 million. However, in the 60s it was relatively new to us having been introduced to the public in 1946. Piaggio the manufactures developed the two wheel wonder after its aircraft factories were bombed in during World War Two and it was a huge hit. Then it was a 98cc 2 stroke engine with three speeds for your purists, today like so much of life, many are batterie powered with electric to follow.
There are Vespa Clubs all over the world and many members came to Northern Ireland in 2018 to celebrate the Vespa World Day – 2,500 gathered at the Titanic slipway before flying off on runs throughout the country side. The club was formed in 1954 but as cars became more affordable the Vespa fell out of favour. It was reformed in the 80s, and the World Day in 2018 brought many past members together to join colleagues from countries around the world, there are clubs in Australia, Japan, New Zealand, the Philippines, America and Vietnam to name but a few and there is a great coming and going between them all, apparently one man even rode to the North Pole! Can this be true?
Ricky Darrah from Belfast is a founding member of the Ulster Vespa Club’s current incarnation and a keen historian of the local movement. He confirmed that there are a lot of Vespas around.
“But what happens now is they are usually kept for good days and Sunday rather than a commuter tool and two weeks ago over 100 gathered for an outing in aid of a cancer charity. The new generation of Vespa is a sophisticated machine,” he explained. “Depending on the model some can reach up to 80 miles an hour and they are allowed on motorways. Still petrol driven as electric models are still in their infancy, they are smooth, easily ridden and efficient.”
Apparently they are favourites of men with a midlife crisis as most accidents involve over those of 50 plus! In the 60s one of these beauties were a serious investment and dealers were the first to introduce higher purchase into the equation.
“In those days a standard scooter would set you back around £125, today top of the range is around £7,000, times change but so does the engineering that goes into these scooters.”
Local man Artie Bell, the famous motorcycle road racer, was the first Vespa dealer, today McCrum of Portadown is the local trader with all the answers, basic training information, insurance and licensing as well as all the machines you could wish for.
All this reminds me of the funny going round at the moment. Man goes into a store and picks up a tin of fly killer. He asks the young man packing the shelves, “Is this any good for wasps?” The reply? “No, it kills them.” You’ve gotta laugh!
Richard would love to hear from anyone with links to the Ulster Vespa Club past or present. Contact him at ulstervc55@gmail.com
For more www.vespaclubofbritian.co.uk
Throughout his life Stewart Love enjoyed two loyal audiences each respecting him and his talents. The first was within his school career and the children he taught and nurtured both at Kelvin Secondary in Sandy Row and, when I met him, a teacher of English at Dundonald Girls High School. Indeed, before he became a professional playwright he wrote plays for his pupils to perform instilling in them a love of the English language and drama.
The second were the theatre audiences who engaged in his writing, his insight and his humour. I first came across this modest man when he brought his manuscript to the Arts Theatre and met the artistic director of the Ulster Actors Company, Roy Heayberd. It was the script of Me Oul Segocia one of the first plays to examine the complexities of Catholic families living along side their Protestant neighbours in the turmoil of the 1960s. He wrote of the Marshalls, Dolly her brother Arty and her son Danny. They had been intertwined with the Dorans for over thirty years and the fact that Cassie Doran and her son Pat were Catholics had never been of any importance. Like their mothers before them Danny and Pat grew up side by side in the same Belfast street, they had their differences like any two boys but for ‘me oul segocia’ and his mate these were always easily overcome. Then the awful truth began to dawn on the families and at the world premiere at the Riverside Theatre in Coleraine in May 1980 and then at the Arts Theatre in Belfast the following month, the audience was gripped by the tensions building in the neighbourhood and between the two boys and the brutal climax to their friendship. I will always remember what to me was the most sinister line that held a dreadful meaning: ‘times are changing, lines are being drawn.’ And the Troubles gathered pace.
Stewart had written the play for BBC Radio 4 in August 1979 and it was an immediate success. Before this he had another notable success when he introduced Dandy Jordan, a shipyard worker, played by Jimmy Ellis, who dared to be different, standing up to management and wanting to live his life his way and The Randy Dandy became a public look at a proud Belfastman in the 60s. Before the play was shown on BBC Television there was a warning that it was unsuitable for people of a nervous disposition!
Stewart was working again with the Ulster Actors in 1982 with another world premiere this time a two act comedy Football Crazy starring the late Leila Webster, the story of a fanatical football family in Belfast. He was prolific, notably The Big Long Bender featuring free love and hippy culture, The Big Donkey again set in docklands and the relationship between father and son as well as Titanic which he wrote for the Bart Players.
He has been described as a playwright with a bite, a brave hearted chronicler of social issues. He wrote these and many more plays which now place this dramatist foremost in the annals of our theatre history.
Stewart Love maintained it was easy to write about Northern Ireland because it’s an interesting place. “Who’d want to write about Switzerland when nothing ever happens there?” he said. “All the goings on at Harland and Wolff with strikes and payoffs, then the Troubles – conflict makes excellent material for drama and we’ve always had plenty of that”
We offer our sympathies to his dear wife Elizabeth and his family.
THE MASTER BUILDER
I have never seen so many cobwebs before. These eight legged monsters big and small, more rather pretty small ones than the horrid black variety, have been busy, even my car has cobwebs draped from the wing mirrors to the car door, bushes have them stretched across leaf and branches, a garden chair is swathed. They are major miracles and to sit and watch the builder constructing the intricate web is fascinating. I can’t say the name of the insect as `I know at least one person reading this has a phobia about these monsters.
UPDATE FROM AFGHANISTAN
The Afghan people of Herat town were called to come out of their houses and look up at the dead bodies of kidnappers hanging above their heads. A warning that the Taliban authorities have promised to impose severe punishments on law breakers with executions and amputations.
UPDATE FROM SPAIN
What a week it’s been. Holiday makers were forced to flee to the ferries to take them off the island of La Palma to safety as the lava continues to flow from the Cumbre Vieja volcano, even the emergency crews have had to move back as explosions force molten rock and ash over a large area the island, apparently the huge bangs of the eruptions reverberated over the small island. 7000 people have abandoned their homes but no matter where people go the ash is carried on the wind causing breathing problems and choking . With the airport now closed there is urgent need to find ways to escape La Palma. Just look at the distress of the people queuing to get transport as their holiday turns into a nightmare.
A GAME FOR GENTLEMEN?
There are tensions at the Ryder Cup golf in America. The European team are not doing very well to put it mildly and Brooks Koepka (USA) challenging officials with colourful language when he was not allowed a free drop when his ball ended up with within inches of a drainage challenge. Interesting to see the number of officials, television crews, other golfers all gathering round to peruse the situation. Reminds me of the complaint put into city hall about a hole in the road to be told there workmen were looking into it!
Lovely to welcome Donna Traynor back to our screens after four months. She commands respect with her presentation, she always give me the impression she cares about the news she is giving me and unlike many others she fulfils the BBCs old fashioned promise of quality of speech and grammar. As one newspaper put it:
Donna makes welcome return to our TV screens. Sometimes it seems, unlike newspapers, broadcasters fail to realise the impact that its long serving presenters have with the viewing public. That is particularly the case when it comes to news or current affairs.
