I’ve no doubt that the rules and regulations the government and the assembly are setting down are necessary and vitally important to adhere to but surely something is being overlooked. Schools and places of educations are to remain open, some of the safest places for young people to be especially to continue their learning, to keep their brains working and their friendships alive in a well organised way. That’s a given. The problem comes when the bell rings and they all spill out onto the pavement chatting and laughing, huddled in groups sharing thoughts and aspirations. I’ve been told by so many people that they watch this happening and fear for both the young people and those they come in contact with. And how do you manage that? Dilemma. I don’t know the answer, perhaps there is no answer.
And it’s not only school children and those at university or college. Anyone going home from work, even a take away shop, will stop and chat and forget to remember social distancing. Old habits die hard but we must remember the new way of living. I sometimes forget to follow the arrows on the floor, I sometimes have to walk back to the car when I forget to lift my mask, I sometimes stand too close to someone in a queue and I’m grateful if this is pointed out to me. It’s a new mindset and we are intelligent enough to embrace it.
TRIUMPHANT TRUMP OR WHAT
Big week in world wide politics and traumas. France is in a state not only with the virus but with terriorist attacks, terrible attacks in Nice and Paris but all eyes will be on America mid week when the election for president results begin to roll in. I have bets on Trump winning but I hope I have to pay out on them because if he does we’re into a whole horrible new world. Tactics are at the lowest at the moment – his son Don Junior put out messages to supporters to ‘have some fun’ and encouraged them to force the cancellation of a rally in a town in Texas. The event was indeed cancelled on security grounds. Bully boy tactics is becoming the new normal in USA.
FRIENDSHIP ON THE PHONE
It’s a long time since I was a young mother but I still remember being confused, wanting to do the right thing but sometimes too tired to even think what was the right thing. The only person to turn to was my mother but she was miles away. Getting across town during the troubled years was dangerous and difficult so I was loath to call on her unless it was urgent. Even 50 years on a woman told me of the day she completely lost her reason as she puts it. “I left my ‘milk scattering’ pills beside the bed. I was having trouble breast feeding the new baby. I was alarmed when I went back into the room a few minutes later to find they were gone and my two year old was looking very pleased with himself. Had he swallow them? He couldn’t or wouldn’t tell me. I was gripped with terrified panic, perhaps unreasonably but my hormones were all over the place and I couldn’t think straight.” She seemed to be reliving her fear. “I phoned my mum who took him to the Royal, An unsympathetic doctor listened to the problem and said ‘Do you want him to grow a beard or breasts before telling her it would do him no harm I was in a state but my mother was more mature, calmed me down and took over.”
There were lots of occasions when I needed an encouraging word or was just too stressed to cope with two young ones and needed to get my head sorted.
It’s not easy to ask for advice or open your heart to just anyone even a close friend, so if you’re lucky, your mother will understand when a concern becomes fully fledged despair or the four walls are closing in on you and you want to scream.
HOME-START
In my day there was no Home-Start, an international organisation with branches all over Northern Ireland, where trained volunteers offer a listening ear, practical help, someone who will engage with the children so the mother, or father, can have some time to themselves or can join in the fun. A shoulder to lean on.
Dorothy McMullan is manager of the busy Down District branch which is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year, and she explained that volunteers are carefully chosen and trained, at the moment on a seven week course via zoom.
Volunteers will never be on their own, each will have an organiser to consult with if they need help. The organiser can then take over and call on a specific agency to deal with any situation which might arise during interaction with the family, the parent will agree to this before hand. Before Corvid 19 every service they offered was person to person but now that’s not possible so it’s virtual ‘face to face’ but still offering vital help.
TRAINING IS METICULOUS
And it’s essential because the help being given during this difficult period of time is by Zoom, WhatsApp and telephone, you may think you are pretty good at offering advice down the line but you’d be surprised just how detailed the preparation is and how important it is to understand just how to approach this important task.
Applying to become a volunteer is thorough but Home-Start will guide you through the various forms to be filled in, explain the checks that have to be made, photographic proof required but once through the process training is both interesting and rewarding.
Before lockdown Home Start offered very practical help with home visits once a week where the volunteer supported the woman, or man, by playing with the children, washing the dishes, helping with homework and most of all being there to listen and help sort out fears and problems and being an extra pair of hands, perhaps even going along to an appointment if the parent lacks confidence and would like company.
Before Covid actual playgroups offered structured sessions encouraging the child to mix happily with other children and learn through play in readiness for nursery and primary schooling and a chance for parents to meet and share experiences. However all that has been put on hold and in place of the physical services there are virtual services for parents mainly with small children under five.
These days of ‘lock down’ mean families sharing limited space, no privacy and no safe escape. Women experiencing physical and mental health problems, perhaps post natal depression or isolation so a listening ear is an important relief. Apart from being there for the parent and ready to listen to their thoughts and fears, playing with the children is another important aspect of the visit. Dorothy agreed that it’s a challenge to think of ways to keep a child under five occupied but she and her colleagues have lots of ideas to add to your own, story telling is popular and of course playing games, Statues, Simon Says and making tin foil fish amongst them, there is no limit.
Down District have 60 volunteers, men as well as women, all offering an hour a week for virtual visits with families. All volunteers have certain things in common, experienced in parenting, a caring nature, the want to help others, the ability to listen without being judgemental, being compassionate and appreciate plus the vital importance of confidentiality.
This is a very much respected organisation but not widely known. If you are interested in volunteering or making use of the service, NI regional office 077 4748 7938 or find out more from Dorothy McMullan at 028 4461 5727 or downpatrick@homestartdd.org
ALL AT SEA
Put it in the diary. The Ocean Film Festival will roll into town on the crest of a wave. This annual world tour is a virtual event for the first time and available at www.oceanfilmfestival.co.uk on 17th to 19th November. Great family viewing.
FORMULA ONE
He’s at it again. Louis Hamilton just goes from one win to the next, will he this time? He certainly has guts and a good team round him but what drives this man? The need to win seems to be all important which is to be admired and he seems wise enough to go on from racing round a track to build a second career in some other area of life. It will be interesting to see because he is a role model to so many young people and his influence is great. He’s hinting at retirement so it will be interesting to see.
Another week over. An important one to come. All we can do is keep our distance, wash our hands, wear our masks and pray very hard to whatever higher being you subscribe to. Prayer concentrates the mind so does this thing called mindfulness so what ever you chose, let's hope it works.