I wakened early and caught the sunshine and an opportunity to have my toast outside – not a sound but a blackbird chatting to a plaintive robin, all was peaceful and bright and hopeful. Then reality struck and despondency hit. Because the national news is focused on England it’s easy to get very frightened but that’s out of our control, we have our own slice of the pandemic here in Northern Ireland and this is where we must take the initiative and follow the rules and advice.
Sharing a shop counter with someone not wearing a mask presents a dilemma, happened the other day when a big strong man came in and stood beside me perhaps he was exempt but he looked healthy enough and that’s the rub, do you challenge him or just, as I did, move away. None of the shop staff said anything and what would they say anyway. I didn’t notice if he sanitised his hands on the way in.
Is there a case for those who are exempt wearing some kind of notification? The protests in London yesterday are hard to understand, an element of self promotion by the leaders and when we’re at it what about Van Morrison and his protest songs! How misguided can you be, the majority of people are frightened for themselves and their families, young people in apprenticeships, at university, in senior school and the little ones in primary and just imagine the apprehension of first year in big school only to be sent home because a child in the class has been diagnosed positive.
It’s a minefield of mixed messages and turmoil so it’s important to listen to experts and follow their advice and our own instincts.
What’s going on around the country and in and out of homes must be harrowing in many cases. If you’re fortunate enough to have a house with room to breath and a garden to escape to in safety but when a family is cramped with two or three children, what has been a happy and controlled lifestyle can in some cases suddenly become tense and threatening.
‘Lockdown’ has had terrible results when it comes to domestic violence for both men and women and sadly also children. The story line in EastEnders came to a violent climax on Friday night as this was highlighted.
Over the months Gray’s behaviour towards his wife has been building and the good looking lawyer (played by Toby Alexander Smith) became crazed for no good reason except he felt he was losing control of his woman.
Like so many in this position she kept the bullying to herself, she loved him and in a way was protecting him against criticism for her family and friends, making excuses for the bruises and keeping a smile on her face. But when he realised she was going to leave him and had looked for help from handsome and caring Kheerat, he flipped big time.
I think it was wise to advise viewers what was to come when he threw her against the open dishwasher and left her to die although some complained that it took the surprise element away. Others were wise enough to realise how important it is to under line awareness of this situation.
It was well done, apparently filmed in one 15 minute period of time, unusual for a soap where much smaller chunks are the style so, although other scenes were inserted during the time in the kitchen, this was achieved during the edit. Certainly this heightened the drama and the impact of such violence will live long in the mind. Apparently in the UK a woman is killed every four days by a former or current partner.
I don’t watch Coronation Street any more – gave it up for Lent and haven’t gone back – however there is a story line of domestic violence which is equally traumatic and because in both cases script writers and actors have worked closely with charities who are faced with such situations every day – apparently at 54% increase in women contacting these charities.
The pressures are enormous on all of us but keep in touch with friends even by phone or by these ‘apps’ where you can actually see a special person on the screen, families are on ‘zoom’, I’m involved in quite a few zoom meetings which are not the same as sitting round a table discussing business but very effective all the same. It does mean for a woman getting your makeup on early, checking the background, wearing something attractive at least on your top half. I suspect this will be the way forward in the future for all sorts of meetings so a degree of isolation is going to be something we’ll have to accept.
SUN SPOTS TO BLAME?
Now here’s another theory about the fate of the Titanic. Solar flares!
This is what is being said:
‘The new study’s key finding is that the northern hemisphere was in the grips of a “moderate to severe” magnetic storm that night, (12th April 1912) which could have altered the Titanic’s navigational readings, affecting both its planned course and the information the crew shared about their location during SOS signals.
“The sun, which is powered by an innate nuclear dynamo that’s burning at millions of degrees, is covered with sunspots. These, in turn, are punctuated by giant explosions the size of the Earth or even larger: solar flares.
NASA explains: “In a matter of just a few minutes they heat material to many millions of degrees and release as much energy as a billion megatons of TNT, These flares are often caused by magnetic changes or crashes, and their explosions cause magnetic ripples through the solar system.
Probably more on this theory to come. Riveting!
DISCUSS!
Olivia Fane has written a book debunking sex. That will guarantee her an audience. I listened to her being interviewed and really, she may well have a point of view and probably has researched it fully but the title ‘Why Sex Doesn’t Matter’ is a bit over the top but it does what she intends, it grabs the attention. She says that one in three people haven’t had sex in the last month, I wouldn’t argue with that, and that it’s more important to men than to women, I don’t have a problem with that either.
Apparently it goes back to the First World War and America where the divorce rate was high. The bond was broken when men went off to fight and women became economically independent, they were the ones who had to go out to work and become the breadwinner. When the men came back it presented a problem, they wanted to pick up where they left off but they were fighting another fight this time against women who had a routine and a responsibility. They weren’t just going to go peaceably into that new dawn. So the powers that be in the White House sat round a table to work this problem out – and their solution? Make the woman more sexy in order to keep their man happy and at home. Love and sex were the same thing they said, they encouraged a market of lotions and potions, fashion and beauty parlours to fight the ageing process because when you are young and beautiful it’s OK but some women get less attractive as they get older! Their thinking was, If you are no longer desirable, you are no longer lovable.
In The Eye Of The Beholder
According to Olivia it’s the same for a woman’s attraction to a man – handsome equals erotic love, she’ll say ‘I want that’ and goes for it and with the introduction of contraception pill, what’s to stop her? It’s like heroin or cocaine Ms. Fane believes, sex and especially erotic sex is an addiction and certainly not for the elderly. I disagree with her, think of Judi Dench and my dream boat Clint Eastwood neither in the first flush of youth but totally attractive in a sexy sort of way, a twinkle in the eye and good conversation, a little flirtation and well cooked meal with a glass of wine and who knows! A million times better than a romp in 50 Shades of Grey’s ‘Red Room’.
In life surely intimacy and caring is more important, making love rather than having sex, friendship and consideration. However, perhaps we only come to this knowledge a little later in life.
Unbridled sex has brought down governments, started wars and caused a lot of unhappiness yet within a stable loving partnership it is right and proper and after the notorious, and rather bad 50 Shades, apparently B&Q was inundated with men and women looking for ropes and chains! I was actually in the shop one day when a well dressed man was buying these items and I guess they weren’t for use on a building site!
Many young women, and probably men too, experience stress when sex is a challenge, a feeling of embarrassment and guilt, perhaps being unable to achieve what they think is asked of them, feeling they are not attractive, looking at Love Island and matching themselves to these beauties despite how shallow the whole thing is. Magazines with skinny girls and macho men set an unrealistic standard. Sadly it seems impossible to just be yourself these days, comparisons are odious but impossible to ignore. However during the ‘lock down’ many women allowed their hair to grow and become natural, saving money and actually liking the effect. Makeup wasn’t necessary as no one was coming to the door and again putting on the war paint seemed less important and a new approach to every day life has taken root. However, remember this. Ability in business accounts for 7 per cent of your success, how the message is delivered to the customer, 38 per cent but it’s estimated that 55 per cent of success is due to appearance. How often have you watched someone on television and missed the whole message because you’ve been admiring their makeup or what they are wearing.
Then There’s This Twitter Thing
Why oh why do people sign up for this social media brand? It seems to me a sort of rod to break your back on, why complain when you get antisocial messages and hate mail if you open the envelope. Used to be anonymous letters, unsigned threats which you either threw away, confided in someone you could trust or took to the police, in my personal experience you will end it with much needed help. Twitter on the other hand is like an open sewer with the filth running through without check.
I’m sure Olivia Fane will make a packet from her book, it’s interesting and she romps along covering many aspects of why sex doesn’t matter! Understanding, a blend of romantic love and an exciting physical sex life seems like a perfect mix but perfection is all in the mind. She sums up in one sentence:
“Sex is a biological urge nothing more and nothing less, we’ve made sex our god.”
Why Sex Doesn’t Matter by Olivia Fane on Amazon Kindle.
THE SUN HAS DISAPPEARED HERE, NO SIGN OF A SUNSPOT SO NAVIGATION IS SET TO NORMAL MEAING IT’S LESS THAN ONE HUNDRED DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS, NORMAL OR OTHERWISE.. ZOOM CHRISTMAS DINNERS NIGHT BE THE THING THIS YEAR IF YOU’RE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE THE FACILITY.
PEOPLE ARE RESILIENT SO WE’LL MANAGE BUT DON’T FORGET THOSE WHO ARE ON THEIR OWN AND IN DISPAIR. WATCH OUT FOR ANYONE LIKE THAT AND PLAN HOW TO HELP THEM THROUGH.
HAVE A SAFE WEEK.