What a day yesterday was. In brief, 10 am, turned on my laptop to say hello – wouldn’t respond. Panic. Phone Daniel my trusty friend and genius. Agreed we’d meet up on Monday morning as everything we tried by remote telephone conversations didn’t work. “Sounds like the screen!” So it was. “Can I borrow your computer dear husband?” Needed to check the Asda order. Got into Alan’s machine but Asda wouldn’t play ball, problems with the screen and what was showing wasn’t relevant, then everything froze except the telephone number for Microsoft in Arizona – hooray. What a day as I say. From then until 8.15 p.m. we worked with Pia, originally from Italy who wanted to come to Ireland where she has a friend, then Ray who was a delight and finally Kate, they all worked hard, even taking over control of the screen, to get rid of a thousand viruses on Alan’s computer and finally Kate, who talked us through everything, advised us not to open anything suspect, not to do this, not to do that, never give your bank details and then sold us an insuance policy type agreement which would cover both Alan and me even though I’m Applemac, for a ‘clean’ very month, access to engineers and advice not to worry about a thing, just rely on Microsoft. Kate even hooked Alan up to my printer and in due course all the bumph came through, advice and information and a receipt for almost £400!
The worst thing was me telling Kate how wonderful she was, inviting her to come and see us when she came to Ireland etc etc. Great service, nice people, job well done – except we were the ones who were well done!
Scam Alert Scam Alert.
First suspeion came from our daughter, ‘don’t like the sound of it’, Then thanks to our computer whizz kit next day all was revealed, we’d been conned. He checked out Alan’s machine, undid a lot of spurious bits and pieces, replaced passwords, a lot of vital work was done to undo the so called Microsoft help line.
Now we are not stupid but there was no way of knowing Microsoft were not who they claimed to be. We phoned them, they phoned us back a few times during the day after working on various aspects of the fault – I suspect what they were really doing was having a cup of tea and watching their electronics over powering our humble machine.
What can you say except you live and learn the hard way. It could have been so much worse financially as they offered a number of deals for ongoing maintance which ran over £1000 for a life time of security! Ha bloody ha!
So be warned dear friends. Check it out with someone who knows the ropes before being drawn in by charming young people offering you peace of mind.
At least I was reasonably relaxed having just come home from Donegal.
When you’re sitting in the sun of Donegal with lazy bees droning round the clover and a couple of sea gulls chatting out at sea, the covert 19 virus seems far away. But go down the road a couple of miles to the village shop and they have it sussed, masks required, disposable gloves and sanitiser (obligatory and complimentary), and social distancing once inside. The post office on the way to Dungloe is the same only one customer at a time. The restaurant employs social distancing for the tables, booking is essential, name and details taken but watching the table being cleared and cleaned doesn’t come up to scratch, just the surface not the edges where hands push in and out, not the chairs either so it’s disappointing.
There’s another thing going on around the country in general and that’s dog stealing. Gangs of men are going round picking up family pets used for – I dread to think.
Someone cases the joint, find a home with a suitable dog and puts a mark on the gates. It’s terrifying and heartbreaking and something has to be done. In Donegal the guards know all about it and hopefully will get on top of it soon.
There’s one thing that amazes me, there is no manual for parenting. Did you study being a parent before your children were born? If you are fortunate enough to have a family you’ll know that it’s really a bit hit and miss – leave out the hit though – you tend to rely on your own parents methods – ‘do as I say’, ‘don’t argue with me’, ‘go to your room’. Then came the naughty step which is popular at a certain age but I’ve heard of some schools where an erring pupil is sent to sit in with a junior class, I suppose to humiliate and learn a lesson. Not good.
According Cai Graham, parenting and teen coach and author of The Teen Toolbox, all that is history. She’s a woman on a mission and her on-line video chats and her books are a huge help to parents and I would add, grandparents as well who she thinks should make a point of learning modern technology to keep up with 21st century life! Apart from all that has gone before, Cai Graham’s most recent free chats, entitled 5 Golden Rules for Modern Parenting, have come at just the right time; with lockdown and shielding many parents continue to get frazzled and in danger of loosing the rag and children are just mega frustrated, her advice is basic and sensible.
It’s Pretty Strong Stuff
“If you want to see an improvement in your child’s behaviour, first look at yourself. “ This lady is the fist in the velvet glove, she tells it like it is and thanks to her training and her own parenting experiences, she makes you think. She believes that threatening with the naughty corner doesn’t work after a certain age because into the teenage years our children begin to develop a mind of their own, there would be something wrong if that were not the case but it can lead to friction. ‘My house, my rules’ doesn’t hold water she says. “For the first seven years our children are sponges and they take on our values, likes and dislikes but after that they start looking around and taking values and beliefs from their peers and celebrities. ‘Because I said so’ doesn’t work. ‘Because I said so’ I believe is like saying I’ve run out of ideas, I’ve no idea what I’m doing so just get on with what I say because I’m the boss.”
Cai considers this approach is rather lazy! We cannot live our child’s life they must fly on their own with the support of their family under their wings.
She discusses the parental dilemma between developing a healthy attitude where you want to keep them safe but if you try to control every thing they do, in the misguided attempt to protect them, this only leads to disconnection, conflicts, secrecy and resentment – who wants that? It’s important to foster growing and flourishing relationships.
“There is no such thing as a perfect family”. Well, that’s reassuring. “In today’s society we have blended families, we have bonus kids, same sex marriages, mixed race families, single mothers and single dads, a whole host of situations all thrown into the mix.”
A rainbow culture which is sometimes difficult to cope with but Cai’s though is that we should celebrate the difference, certainly to learn of other cultures and backgrounds is fascinating although sometimes you have to bite your tongue in case you’ve over stepped political correctness and interest is seen as prying.
Sadly our leaders have an ability to show dreadful examples, most recently Gregory Campbell making hurtful schoolboy jokes about the Irish language, how clever does he think he is? And what an appalling snide example to our young people.
Home Schooling
With home schooling the relationship between parent and ‘pupil’ can be difficult at times and I’m sure tempers are shorted when the reason ‘why’ doesn’t get the right answer! So patience is a virtue, recognising that the goal posts of your own growing up have changed and you should change with them. It’s not easy but with all that’s going on at the moment, covid 19 putting stress on young and old, whether to wear a mask or not, the talk of children having to wear a face covering when school resumes is an additional strain on relationships.
Cai, who was a Childline volunteer and has studied her subject, looks at relationships with a calm clear eye, stress, loss, mental health issues, discipline and coping strategies are all covered in her 5 Golden Rules to Modern Parenting.
“Lead by example, become a role model rather than a manager, recognise that your child knows best and be open to their points of view, listen to their thoughts and engage with them and their passions, understand how they tick.”
I find Cai’s regular lessons on life really interesting, I wish I’d had them when I was growing up as a parent! I always found a sense of humour was important. I’d a horrible way of listening to requests for new branded trainers or a new something else that was out of the question and then going to the kitchen window, hands folded in prayer and after a new moments with eyes closed, I turned to the relevant child and told them ‘God says no’, you can’t argue with that. I suppose today I’d say ‘The computer says no’! Really what I should have been saying was, can’t afford it at the moment, let’s look at the budget, can you save your pocket money and teach them that some things are just not possible and why that is. Having said that, it’s not a good idea to indulge your child or spoil them with possessions but do remember you can’t spoil your child with your love.
You will find Cai Graham at www.caigraham.com/5gr-video2
