There are positives and negatives and a lot between. We featured the menopause in the Irish News a couple of weeks ago and the opening of a new dedicated clinic in Holywood emphasising the interest in the subject and the need for more education.
This ‘change of life’ is just that, a time for women, usually in their mid-50s but sometimes younger, when periods cease and child bearing is no longer an option. That much we know and for many this is the positive. The negative is what the change can bring to everyday life. Of course it’s important to consult your doctor when you find the symptoms are overwhelming or just to put a name on how you are feeling and then take a decision on how best to proceed. Interesting that a GP I talked to told me that he doesn’t see many women seeking help with this situation but on the occasions he does, the symptoms are severe and medical help is needed, perhaps with hormone replacement therapy.
We only hear of the horror stories; around 75% of us manage to cope with the discomfort of night sweats, difficulty sleeping, mood changes, “There was no fuss in my day,” I was told by a woman now in her 70s, “we just got on with it.” My mother had it sussed! She arrived at my door some 50 years ago saying she wasn’t on top form, a bit down. “I’d think it was the change of life but it can’t be – I don’t have any hormones.” That’s one way of looking at it.
Speakers at The Big Pause event, from right, Roisin Kelly, Equality Commission; Anne McGale Positive Wellbeing NI, Dr Liz Simpson, Ulster University; Dr Siobhan Graham Vitalis Health.
It’s a point which I discussed with Anne McGale who’s been a practice nurse in Belfast for 36 years and is involved with freelance work for The Woman’s Resource and Development Agency, Addiction NI, Adoption UK and Fostering and Asthma UK.
“I deliver a lot of education and I’m passionate about giving women the knowledge and information to empower them and make educated choices in their health, a positive attitude is important and, if you can then accepting and getting on with your life. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and sharing with friends can be useful.”
Big Pause Seminar
She recently held a ‘Big Pause’ seminar for women interested in researching their own individual menopause where they were able to talk with a doctor, a lawyer, a psychologist and a member of the Equality Commission as well as hearing Anne’s own presentation based on experience and research.
“We are prepared for puberty and for pregnancy.” she explained, “but who prepares us for the menopause?” We agree that this is where your mother is so important, usually she’s the one to explain but often she’s not around when you reach your 50s, perhaps she has passed on or is working or tied up with her own interests. Always willing but not always with the time to sit down and talk in depth and be around to keep an eye on her wee girl!
We talk about ‘oxytocin’ levels, sometimes called the ‘love hormone’ involved in childbirth and breast feeding but also association with empathy, trust, sexual activity and relationship-building, it’s also thought to have benefits treating depression and anxiety so, if these levels are effected, so are you.
“It goes back to the days of the cavemen! When a woman reaches this time they’ll often get big round the middle, no longer be fertile and problems can build with men looking further afield for company but if they understand what is a predictable happening, and realise they too can have symptoms in their own bodies, hopefully they will be supportive of each other and wait until times get better.”
Positive Wellbeing
With her company Positive Wellbeing, she discusses with employers details about this natural process, important for them as there have been legal cases, won by the women involved, where menopause has been cited as a mitigating circumstance of events during working hours. She also welcomes men to her informal meetings. “They too need to know the facts in a friendly, non-stressful day talking with others, sharing questions and this certainly works, so much so that I’m organising more such events in September and then taking our seminars out to other towns and cities.”
Where I was quoted £212 for a 30 minute meeting with a consultant at the private clinic, a day with this experienced nurse will cost under £40 and that will include talks by doctors and therapists, also a time of relaxation, a yoga class and advice on positive thinking, today called mindfulness. More than that it not only gives those attending a chance to exchange experiences and concerns, but also to establish friendships and an ongoing connection with Anne McGale and her team. The choice is there.
One Women In Three
“I personally had a bad start to my menopause and decided that if I could help it no other woman would get to that point without information. This is important because by 2020 one woman in every three who are over 50 will still be in the workplace with no protection as there is no policy or legislation available to support them through the transition. With no local government at present this is serious, these are the same women who have been supported through pregnancy and maternity leave as there is policy in place in these areas.”
And she is mindful of the men who experience mid-life symptoms, known as Andropause and she will continue to develop this line of support. Many of the symptoms reflect what women experience, stress, depression, sleeplessness, loss of libido, fat redistribution, for men it could be developing a belly or ‘man boobs’, and the devastation of erectile dysfunction.
The good news is that there is help available both medical and through support groups like Anne’s.
Contact her at: www.positivewellbeingni.com
ONCE IN A BLUE MOON
1969: Man takes first steps on the Moon
“American Neil Armstrong has become the first man to walk on the Moon.
The astronaut stepped onto the Moon’s surface, in the Sea of Tranquility, at 0256 GMT, nearly 20 minutes after first opening the hatch on the Eagle landing craft.
Armstrong had earlier reported the lunar module’s safe landing at 2017 GMT with the words: “Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.”
As he put his left foot down first Armstrong declared: “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.””
WHERE WERE YOU, IF INDEED YOU WERE EVEN BORN? AND DO YOU THINK IT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING OR JUST AN ELABORATE STAGE SET SOMEWHERE ON THE ARIZONA DESERT AS SOME DO?
MISS SAIGON COMES TO THE GRAND OPERA HOUSE BELFAST
If you want a treat this week get to the Grand Opera House for the School Edition of Miss Saigon. I visited rehearsals during the week and it’s an emotional blast – 80 teenagers on stage acting and singing guided by the best in the business, director Tony Finnegan and musical director Wilson Shields. The story of a 17 year old bargirl working in Saigon during the Vietnam War who falls in love with an American GI and the heartache that results. The adult story line remains, some of the language has been toned down but the enthusiasm and the talent is undoubted. www.goh.co.uk for details.
MUSIC IS THE FOOD OF LOVE AND LAUGHTER
I heard a woman of 97 being interview on Jeff Lloyd’s Saturday morning 5 Live radio show, she had learned the guitar two years ago and has now entered a new life style entirely, she has something to live for, belongs to a group of fellow musicians, can bend her fingers again and singing along helps her breathing. What’s not to like. She’s taking part in a Guinness Book Record attempt of the biggest longest music lesson in history. The aim is at lease 24 hours with at least 200 taking part. They’ll be learning Tom Petty’s Free Falling. Beautiful man, beautiful song and you will know what I mean if you go into Youtube/Tom Petty/Free Falling but choose a concert version when he was younger and then think of 200 men, women and children singing and playing.
Tom died in 2017 at the age of 66. An accidental overdose sadly. Apart from being famous playing with his Heartbreakers, he was one of the famous Travelling Wilburys, again look them up and choose End of the Line. This group are known as Contempory Skiffle in honour of my all time great, Lonnie Donegan. When I was about 15 I saw him live playing in the Palladium and I just went ballistic, the music was so happy. The Wilburys give the same feeling, perfect as each one of the is a star, Jeff Lynn, George Harrison Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, Jim Kelter and Tom Petty.
Some of the videos of them singing together show an empty rocking chair with a guitar in the seat, it gently rocks to the music. The brilliance of their short time together as a group was because they were friends, didn’t have managers to dictate, no agents to stick their oar in – no pressures. Eventually they all went their own ways but they have left a delightful memory.
By the way girls. Dress designer Jeff Banks was also on the programme and he confirm that black is slimming!!
