SUNDAY BLOG: In Praise of Fathers and Try Having No Thumbs

June 19, 2016 annehailes Anne Hailes Today 518

 

Jo Cox MP
Jo Cox MP

Who would have thought this time last week we’d be so shocked to hear of the death of a young woman MP. Talk about slaughter of the innocent, so young, so enthusiastic, ready to take on the world and improve conditions for many people even those beyond her constituency. The pictures of her having fun with her little children, the heart break of her husband and the grief of her family and friends. Sometimes it easy to get dreadfully frightened and depressed about the killings that have and are going on but we must remember the many good people trying their best to improve life for us all and especially for the coming generations.

 

 Father’s Day.

These days come round more quickly each year but Sunday’s celebration was very low key compared to those of their counterpart – mothers. Why should it be? Marketing I suspect. You never see florists windows proclaiming father’s day in the same way or sweet shops stacked with special chocolate boxes for the Mammy! I like the idea of Mothering Sunday although again that’s an American invention with an eye on the commercial side of life.

John Shaw shortly before he died at the age of 98
My Dad.  John Shaw shortly before he died at the age of 98

I only met my father when I was four and a half because of the war years when he was away from home. I was three months old before he even knew he had his only girl child and it must have been heart breaking to miss those tender years of getting to know his first born, I didn’t realise what I was missing although there was always this man in my life that everyone talked about in glowing terms, constant photographs of me taken to send to ‘Daddy’ and lots of pictures of this handsome man around the house. I remember the day he came home, I hid because I was so shy to meet this mythical hero but it wasn’t long before he really was my hero and remained so until he died a few years ago at the ripe old age of 98. He was always fit and healthy and a fine example to all who knew him, especially his two sons. He fell foul of alcohol at one stage and beat it well and truly which benefitted many other people as he quietly help them to do the same thing, some of them my own friends.  He was held in high esteem by all who knew him and that was obvious at his funeral when people came from far and wide, so many we didn’t even know but they too had a reason to give thanks for John Shaw’s life and times.

In his earlier days, a well known cricketer who played for Cliftonville Cricket Club and Ulster. Back row extreme right.
1938. In his earlier days, a well known cricketer who played for Cliftonville Cricket Club and Ulster. Back row extreme right.

So I’m thinking so much about him today, how early in the morning before school I would go and cut a rose bud for his lapel and I’m glad I had the opportunity to sit with him towards the end of his life and have good conversations about life, his growing up and feelings for me. And more important, my feelings for him, and yet there was so much more to say and to hear. If you still have the privilege of having your father and want to give him a special present today, give him your time, ask him questions about himself and tell him you love him – and I hope you are able to do that, not all fathers are easy to love.

Why so much Pain and Frustration

A few weeks ago I told you about Margaret Torrens who, with her Women’s Institute colleagues, is lobbying manufacturers to take a critical look at their packaging and make products easier to open. Shrink wrap for instance requires careful use of scissors and for anyone with arthritis or poor vision this can be hazardous.

Houston Marshall
Houston Marshall

Bringing this problem to light in a profoundly personal way is this letter I received from Houston Marshall.

Dear Anne,
viagra without prescription free The survey says, all the medicines that have been accepted as oral therapy for dysfunction. It is also an effective aphrodisiac which lifts up the sexual sildenafil tablets uk mood and improves drive. Also there is some http://robertrobb.com/2018/07/ cialis generico cipla risk of allergic reactions with the use of cheap Penegra online. The name, age, address for shipping etc. are included to the form that you viagra on prescription robertrobb.com have to fill up. Rheumatoid Arthritis is a terrible disease.
Last night I lay tossing and turning because I couldn’t get comfortable with the pain in my knees even though I put on a fresh morphine patch because I was being kept awake by the usual nightmares.
I decided to get up but that took me near half an hour to get on my feet. I spent ages trying to get out of my bedroom because my hands were so stiff I couldn’t grasp the door handle.  (I must remember to leave the bedroom door open). Washing and cleaning my teeth took an age as I kept dropping the toothbrush. After performing manoeuvres a contortionist would be proud of I finally got dressed and made my way downstairs.
I almost scalded myself trying to lift the kettle of boiling water. I smashed my favourite mug and almost dropped the carton of milk.
I took my prescription pills wishing I could have a couple of pain killers but I’m not allowed because the strong medication I’m taking is affecting my liver function and something as simple as a couple of paracetamol will tip my blood results to the wrong side of normal.
I plan my day.  Will it rain? Will it be cold?  What’s the likelihood of coming close to someone who has a cold?
The cocktail of drugs I’m on has wrecked my immune system. If I get a cold, with nothing in my system to fight it with, it very quickly settles on my chest and I‘m fighting pneumonia! A recent bump on my elbow resulted in hospitalisation for 10 days on intravenous antibiotics.
After this ‘normal’ start to the day the first four people I meet tell me I am looking really well!
Please please don’t get me wrong. I don’t want your sympathy and I certainly don’t want offers of help, however, think twice before you tell me how well I’m looking. Just because you don’t see a wheelchair or a crutch or a bandaged head doesn’t mean that a person isn’t suffering.
My big problem, however, is with the packaging of tablets.
As the arthritis moves from my larger joints to my fingers and toes, I find it increasingly difficult to  get tablets from the blister packaging. I have been writing to some of the pharmaceutical companies and one of them told me it was because of lobbying from disabled and older people that they started using blister packs because they said it was impossible to open childproof bottles.  One told me of a little plastic device that could push a tablet out of the blister but I found that they crushed smaller tablets or broke the lozenge shaped tablets into small pieces. When I contacted the companies and suggested they use thinner foil on the pack or less rigid plastic, Boots replied saying that they needed to be that heavy to protect the tablets!

P1030211
I was asked how difficult the problem really was and I likened it to having no thumbs. Try it yourself the next time you go to take a couple of tablets. Don’t use your thumbs and you’ll appreciate the problem. Like so many issues that effect disabled people, they are starting to effect more and more people as we are living to an older age and have similar problems.
Maybe your WI ladies could add this to their campaign.
Regards, Houston Marshall. Belfast.

A Positive Spin on a Negative event
Playwright Donna O’Connor has proved she’s a positive woman. Even when she fell and broke two fingers, she used an all night stay at the Royal, in a freezing cold A&E, to people-watch. Rich material for a woman with a fine sense of humour and the ability to capture comic drama in her writing. ‘Handbag Positive’ came out of that experience, a phrase used in hospital to identify elderly confused women who won’t let go of their handbags no matter what, just like Attracta and Nora. They were best of friends when they were at school in the 70s, did everything together, laughed and cried, shared their lives, including boyfriends. After 30 years apart they meet up in A&E on Hallowee’n night and the craic begins. Their mothers are ill, there’s a long wait for news but sure they have each other for company. But is the old friendship still there? The distraction of other patients keeps them chatting but will the memories bring them close again?

Alexandra Ford and Christina Nelson
Alexandra Ford and Christina Nelson

Alexandra Ford and Christina Nelson are bound to make their mark with these Belfast characters and director Alan McKee will bring out the best in this production by Joe Rea. After touring throughout Northern Ireland ‘Handbag Positive’ ends up in the Grand Opera House until Saturday 25 June at 7.30 p.m. What better way to end an evening, or escape the football, than with a good laugh in comfortable surroundings.
More at www.goh.co.uk

Live Television at its Best

The Queen birthday! Football! Tennis! Referendum! Live television is exciting but a bit too much at the moment. The birthday celebrations are over – well almost, the referendum gets really exciting tonight and no doubt the round of live television and radio debates will continue; football will be thrilling – aren’t we lucky to have two teams to support, then tennis about to hit us between the eyes.  At the time of writing I can only hope the Northern Ireland and RoI football teams will continue to thrill us and get through to the next round – what a great example our players and our fans have been, both north and south have come together in many ways to celebrate the talent we have on this tiny island. Both teams have won the hearts of so many already.

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